Beauty in Ashes
I remember sitting out on the curb outside of the hospital like it was yesterday. Even right now as I try to take myself back to that moment it doesn't feel real, movie-like in a sense. I see myself, 14 years old, feeling more alone then words can comprehend, thinking to myself that my days of laughter and joy were over. I remember feeling in that moment that I'd never laugh or smile again. I was numb. I felt like part of me died. I feel so sad for that girl, she grieved with no hope. Even then I knew I'd never be the same. That was the day I lost my father.
I heard in a movie once loosing someone close to you is like having an amputation, you heal but you're never quite the same as you were before. I believe that. I never really quite got back to that girl but for that I'm thankful. I see qualities in myself that allow me to love His people with compassion that I don't think I'd possess without going through the loss of my father. I'm desperate for God in a way I never was before.
Some of us face life changing, impossible situations. Right now it doesn't make sense. We wonder where we are going to find the strength to walk through this dead end path. When does it end? Why do I have to go through this? Trust me, God has this incredible way of taking ashes and creating something of beauty. He created the sun to set only to rise in the morning.
I smile all the time now. My life is filled with more joy and laughter then I ever could of imagined. God restored it. He held my hand and walked beside me. He still walks beside me. It's funny because now when I look back to that day, I see truth. The scales have have fallen off my eyes allowing me to see a very different picture. I actually wasn't alone at all. Jesus was right there with me, holding me. I was enfolded in the arms of a Father and His desire was to calm my storm. He gave me a life and a story. He taught me to grieve with hope and rejoice in His never ending faithfulness.
So whatever you're walking through, remember to hold on, always. It's not the end. You are an overcomer.
You are of God, little children, and have overcome them, because He who is in you is greater than he who is in the world.-1 John 4:4
I heard in a movie once loosing someone close to you is like having an amputation, you heal but you're never quite the same as you were before. I believe that. I never really quite got back to that girl but for that I'm thankful. I see qualities in myself that allow me to love His people with compassion that I don't think I'd possess without going through the loss of my father. I'm desperate for God in a way I never was before.
Some of us face life changing, impossible situations. Right now it doesn't make sense. We wonder where we are going to find the strength to walk through this dead end path. When does it end? Why do I have to go through this? Trust me, God has this incredible way of taking ashes and creating something of beauty. He created the sun to set only to rise in the morning.
I smile all the time now. My life is filled with more joy and laughter then I ever could of imagined. God restored it. He held my hand and walked beside me. He still walks beside me. It's funny because now when I look back to that day, I see truth. The scales have have fallen off my eyes allowing me to see a very different picture. I actually wasn't alone at all. Jesus was right there with me, holding me. I was enfolded in the arms of a Father and His desire was to calm my storm. He gave me a life and a story. He taught me to grieve with hope and rejoice in His never ending faithfulness.
So whatever you're walking through, remember to hold on, always. It's not the end. You are an overcomer.
You are of God, little children, and have overcome them, because He who is in you is greater than he who is in the world.-1 John 4:4
awesome write up shelby! I am very impressed! glad to hear you are doing as well on the inside as you look on the outside. Stay beautiful in every way! Love you lots!
ReplyDelete-Dustin, your fav cuz ;)
Thank you Dustin! Haha favorite cousin, don't tell the others! Love you bunches!
ReplyDelete